April 2015

Today I wore blue and silver and drew a flower on my wrist. It's a columbine, my state flower. To everyone else, I imagine that seemed insignificant; for me, it was my way of honoring the passing of the sixteenth anniversary of a day that will always haunt me: the Columbine High School shooting.

Sixteen years ago, the worst imaginable thing happened: two shooters entered Columbine High School and killed 13 people (12 students and 1 teacher) and wounded 24 more. I was five years old, and sadly, the Columbine shootings are one of my earliest memories and my first real encounter with the violence in the world. I remember the uninterrupted news coverage that my mom wouldn't let me watch, that I peeked glances at over her shoulder. I went to "cop camp" when I was a middle schooler because I wanted to be a police detective, and we listened to the 911 dispatch calls from April 20th,1999. I no longer wanted to be a cop. Growing up as a Colorado native, April 20th isn't a day that passes without me feeling extreme sorrow and empathy for the families of those who lost loved ones that day.

The memorial that has always affected me most

I always have wondered why the anniversary of Columbine upsets me so much every year. I wasn't there, I was too young, my family wasn't affected, and I've always felt guilty for being so sad every April 20th because I wasn't directly affected. But today, on the 16th anniversary, I think it makes a little more sense that my first knowledge of the violence in the world would still leave such an imprint on my heart. I'm sad for the families of the 13 beautiful people who died that day, and I'm sad for the people who still lose their loved ones to violence in schools. Colorado has experienced a lot of pain in my 21 years of life, starting with this day 16 years ago, through Platte Canyon, Aurora, and Arapahoe. I'm sad, because this never should have happened and should never happen again.

Today, one of my dear friends, Emily, wore a blue and white Colorado shirt with the verse "John 10:10". John 10:10 reads "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full". It's a verse of hope, a promise. There is darkness in this world, but there is also great light. It's a reminder that we can become the light and over come the tragedies of the world. And we will always be #ColoradoStrong.

To all the families who are mourning loved ones on this tragic day, my heart and prayers are with you.

Love abundantly,

Juliana